SPIG Profiles

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You:[/b] Stan and The Raven.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Eighteen.
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: October nineteenth.
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'10"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Stan has one snakebite to satisfy his "The Raven" side, but he hardly wears it unless he's out for fun. He, like most of the others, has the occasional scar here and there from the "adventures" he and his friends have had in the past, all of which he finds are rather ridiculous.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Stan seems to be the most logical of his group of friends, and tends to have no respect for his elders, due to the fact that he finds them all really stupid; this is based off of what he sees from his and his friends' parents. He applies common sense to everything, though he can sometimes make bad and ridiculous decisions - hence the reason why he's even friends with the people that he's friends with - and is very reasonable. He's the most sensitive of his friends, though, very easily upset and his nerves usually get to him; back when he first started talking to Wendy, he would get so nervous that he would end up vomiting. Although he gets upset very easy, he doesn't lose his temper very often, and hardly ever gets angry, though he is somewhat sarcastic, and unimpressed-sounding when annoyed. He's a very fair person, and displays himself as such.
₪ Gives You Hell: Stan Marsh's past begins with his family. He's spent all of his life living with Randall and Sharon Marsh, his parents, and Shelley, his older sister, who has a tendency to abuse him mentally and somewhat physically as well, but Stan doesn't find it much of a big deal since they're siblings and things like that are normal. His parents, though, are what bothers him; they have proven, on many occasions, their stupidity to him, and this, along with the ignorance of all the other parents he's been around, has convinced him that the adults are extremely, ridiculously stupid, and therefore, he doesn't respect them. For example: when his mother divorced his father to marry some guy named Roy, only to divorce the guy and remarry his dad when they dared to screw each other again.

Besides his ignorant parents, Stan finds himself surrounded by rather ignorant friends as well. Such as Cartman. He doesn't quite despise the guy, but he doesn't like him either. In fact, the only friends he's pretty much stuck to are Kyle, who has been his best friend since elementary, and the goth kids, mostly Red, who has helped him out now and then, and in turn, Stan has helped him out as well. Because of his relationship with the goth kids, he's not entirely considered a "conformist", though he's not a "non-conformist" either. Over all, though, when it comes to friends, he and Kyle are inseparable; best friends, and... possibly... something else in the future. Though that kind of thing tends to throw him into a fit of nervous vomiting.

With his past, comes his health issues. Stan has asthma, and a habit of throwing up when he's nervous or worked up, but he doesn't let it get to him. In fact, he's been the star quarterback for his school's football team ever since elementary, and is very athletic, despite being a slight size. He's good at handling weapons as well, and is very talented in many areas, such as music; he plays the guitar and violin, along with a myriad of other instruments.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Randall Marsh ( Father ), Sharon Marsh ( Mother ), Shelley Marsh ( sister ), Aunt Flo ( Aunt ), Marvin "Grampa" Marsh ( Grandfather ), and Jimbo Kern ( uncle ). Stan also still has his homosexual dog named Sparky.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Stan's been going out with Wendy Testaburger for a long time now, but secretly, he's found his eyes wandering in a certain redhead's direction... and that would be Kyle, of course. It's been especially prominent now that he and Wendy have broken up, although he doesn't consider himself over her entirely. Stan never admits it to himself, but he also has a small liking to Kenny, too. But then again, it seems that manwhore has everyone up his pantssleeve.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Seme-seke.

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: VAST - Touched
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: ` Coco Cider
₪ Story Of My Life: Black and darkblue for dialog.

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Kyle, Kahl (Cartman)
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Eighteen
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: May 26th
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'10"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: No mods,mom would kill me. A few battle scars from hospital visits and fights with friends though.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: I'm hot headed, that's no surprise there. They say it's cause I'm a redhead, but whatever. I'm constantly up for a challenge and totally prepared to meet you in a match. I'm competitive and I hate losing, almost as much as I hate Cartman. He's such a fucking dick. My nature of course doesn't say a thing for me personally, I am a good person - or I try to be. Usually I tend to resolve the problems, even if I partake in starting them. I try to work for the greater good, okay?
₪ Gives You Hell: Grew up in a Jewish family with a crazy mother. She's really crazy. My parents are always encouraging me to do the right thing though, which is I guess in a way how I came to be the person I am today. I grew up with most of my classmates since we were kids and we all know eachother pretty well. It's a small town so stuff gets around fast. Stan's my best friend - super best friend, we've been super best friends for a long time. In our little posse he's the one I'm closest with and right after him flies Kenny.

Everyone in their mother knows how much I fucking hate Cartman. God, he's such a dick. What an idiot. I hate that guy. It's like neverending ping pong between us. He's always trying to prove he's better but even when he knows he's wrong he'll try and prove that he's right. Of course this battle has also been going down since we were kids, and now that we're older the stakes get worse than ever at times.

It's common knowledge that I'm a diabetic and have a wild tendency to get sick, so I usually stay out of physical quarrels but I am witty enough to get things sorted out in a more humane way. Sometimes it can't be helped and I end up pulling out the fists but don't we all? I tend to be referred to as a protagonist or whatever but I do what I can. I guess it's just how I was brought up or something like that. Whatever, dude. It doesn't bother me. I just do what I feel like.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Sheila (mother), Gerald (father), Ike (adopted little brother)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Oh god it's a hard call. Stan has been my best friend forever, and I'm pretty sure I love him to death. But Kenny's cute, too. There's others, too, I just cant' help it. Fuck.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Seke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Kansas - Carry On My Wayward Son
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: TheTweek
₪ Story Of My Life: Cadet Blue

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Ken, Kenny
₪ History Shows Again And Again: 18
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: March Twenty-Second
₪ Better You Than Me: Six Foot, baby
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: I have my lip pierced and both my nipples are done, although that's purely for stimulation. I've got Kevin's name on my right arm and Karen's on my left, along with a tramp stamp of Death's scythe. As for scars? They usually disappear when I respawn. But my eye seems to be having issues. It's still there... just fucked up.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: I'm a slut. Seriously, sex is to me what breathing is to normal people. I screw in my sleep. (Funny story about that, but I guess I'll tell you later.) However, thank God, I'm a cool slut. People hang out with me. I like to think I'm pretty awesome. I'm laid back and cool with whatever, just as long as it isn't hurting anyone (namely me). I like to think of myself as the good guy; I mean, everyone has their faults. I tend to be an addict. When you can't die, adrenaline is your best friend. You can do everything. I don't get angry easily, but when I do, watch your ass, man, because I'll set it on fire when you aren't looking. I like to look out for the little guy; you know, Pip and Butters. They're so damn cute. And Ike Broflovski. Anyway, I'm a nice guy. The hero of the story (I wish).
₪ Gives You Hell: Well, once upon a time in Colorado, a twelve year old Roman Catholic girl named Carol got knocked up by a twenty year old unemployed redneck named Stuart. Nine months and a forced marriage later, they had Kevin McCormick. Fast forward four years. Carol pops out another baby, this one with an uncanny ability to respawn, like some Super Mario game on crack.

That baby is me.

Kenneth James McCormick, a walking freak of nature and a total redneck. My family is broke ass, podunk, close to eviction at all times. Dinner each night consists of Poptarts and frozen waffles, although thanks to Kevin's spiffy new construction job, we can sneak some meat in there, too, at least when I'm not stealing food from my friends. I'm also in a less than healthy relationship with Kev. And by less than healthy I mean that me and him are engaged in full on hickcest to the worst degree. I woke up when I was eight with Kevin having decided to keep his dick warm in the cozy confines of my ass. I blame this for my later descent into being a slut. But I love Kevin all the more for it.

My best friends are Stan, Kyle, and I guess Cartman. Cartman thinks we're BFFs. I even still have our BFF necklace or whatever. But even as I've turned into a slut, he's turned more into a jackass. We haven't remained all that close. I mean, sure, him and Butters complete us, but he's such a dick...
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Carol (Mom), Stuart (Dad), Kevin (Big Brother), Karen (Little Sister)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo:Kyle, for one. He's such a little firecracker. Pip and Butters, for sure. Red and me have fucked before, so it's no biggie. And Ike Broflovski is a cutie, even though he's just a kid.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Seme all the way, hon.

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Beastie Boys - Girls
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: Sociopath_Zombie_Incest
₪ Story Of My Life: Orange, bitches.

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Butters and Marjorine.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Seventeen.
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: September eleventh.
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'4"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Tattoos? No. Piercings? None. Scars? It's a miracle he doesn't have an eye missing from the throwing star in elementary school by Kenny McCormick, not to mention no scar from it. Butters has a few scars on his torso and legs from the beatings he receives from Stephen, his dad, and the pranks he's been involved in.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Butters is highly submissive, attentive and sweet, always concerned with how people see him or how he fits in. He's always trying to change himself to adjust to what other people want out of him, especially around Cartman, whom he follows around like a stray puppy. Despite being rather naive and "innocent", Butters is pretty smart, mostly due to the fact that he studies a lot, especially when grounded - which is most of the time. He often chastises himself over things that he's convinced are his fault, though they're normally ridiculous. Although he is pretty intelligent, he tends to have no knowledge of street smarts, and most sexual things; once, when he was little, he'd had not a clue what his uncle's "touching" really was, and is still rather clueless about it to this day. When confronted with such subjects, he normally takes it in a much lighter context, and normally gets himself into trouble that way.

He has a 'girl' alias named Marjorine, as a side note.
₪ Gives You Hell: Butters' past is rather pitiful. He's been taken advantage of in many, many ways, by his uncle, his father, his mother, and nearly all his friends, but he has no knowledge of it, and thinks all of his misfortunes are his own fault. He tends to get mixed up in Cartman's pranks because he sticks around him like a lost puppy, and it gets him into a lot of trouble with his parents, especially his dad, and recently, it's ended in harsh punishment. He's almost always getting grounded in some way, for ridiculous things, such as, back in elementary, when his parents wanted to ground him because none of the girls liked him. He was even abused physically when Cartman sat in for him and answered his phone, telling his parents all kinds of things to get him in trouble.

Butters somehow developed the 'girl' alias Marjorine in grade school as well, but he uses it occasionally in the present, whenever one of the guys tells him to dress up as 'her', and it's normally for pranks that involve picture taking or sticking Butters out on street corners, which he somehow doesn't get, but goes along with anyway.

Recently, though, as of a few months before the present, Butters' father has gotten increasingly violent, beating him regularly. Butters rarely is out with friends anymore, due to the fact that he's almost always grounded, and when he is out, he normally shows up with some kind of injury, whether it be a black eye or an untreated sprained limb. He never complains about it though, thinking that he deserves the treatment he receives, and somehow keeps in good spirits anyway.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Linda Scotch and Stephen Scotch are his parents.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Even though Butters constantly hangs around Cartman, he likes Kenny a little more, though he has a little crush on both of them. But, Butters is Butters and he loves everybody.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Uke! Because, really.. It's Butters.

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Little Bird by Imogen Heap and the lyrics.
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: ` Coco Cider
₪ Story Of My Life: Black and deepskyblue for dialog.

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Just Craig.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: 18
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: September Twenty-Eighth
₪ Better You Than Me: Six foot Two
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Both ears are pierced, along with my left nipple. And scars? Too many to count.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: I'm the school bully. I always have been. Beating up on the weaker kids because honestly, who cares about them other than that bleeding heart redneck Kenny McCormick? Being the asshole of the school makes me pretty damn emotionless. There's no reason for me to show anyone anything unless I'm with my gang, and even then I like to think that I'm pretty aloof. I tend to be self-absorbed and don't really get involved in things unless it's directly involving me or my friends.
₪ Gives You Hell: My life isn't all peaches and cream, you know. I'm the product of parents who could care less if they had children or not. Yeah, I know they love me; they stick up for me and all that crap, but I feel like it's out of a sense of obligation to me and my little sister Ruby, not because they actually love us all that much. I mean... they hardly keep their jobs and they're always following the other idiotic parents in their stupid fads or whatever. Hell, it's obnoxious, but I'm usually in Denver.

I hate Stan's gang. And when I say hate, I mean hate. I guess it might be because they conned me out of one hundred dollars and then got me deported to Peru. Or the fact that Eric Cartman thought it would be cool to degrade my Thomas in front of the entire nation when he faked having Tourette's. Whatever the hell it is, I hate them. Except Butters. Sure, I pick on him the most, but it's only because I have a thing for blondes. Thomas, Tweek, Pip, and Butters. I like to think it's my collection.

I'm desperately in love with Thomas and Tweek. Equally. And I don't care who knows it. I don't think either of them know, but everyone else does. They mean everything to me, and I would kill if it meant that the two of them would stay safe. My bio isn't all that fascinating because really, I'm a pretty boring guy. A couple knife fights here or there, a blowjob in a back alley... I don't get around all too much. Just sit back and see where shit takes me.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please:Mrs. Tucker (Mother), Thomas (Father), Ruby (Little Sister)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo:I'm in love with Tweek and Thomas although I wouldn't mind taking Butters and Pip for a ride, too.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid:Seme

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Spring Awakening - Bitch Of Living
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: Sociopath_Zombie_Incest
₪ Story Of My Life:Midnight Blue

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Just "Tweek".
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Eighteen.
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: October thirteenth.
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'7"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Tweek simply has a few scars here and there from his consistent jittering; he's either run into things or jumped too much, earning him a few injuries. Other than that, though, Tweek is marking-free.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Tweek is.. a bit on the shaky side. He jumps at any small movement or sound, and is constantly shaking, mostly due to his Attention Deficit Disorder and the fact that his parents continuously try to cure his issues with caffeinated beverages. He always feels stressed and under pressure, even when asked to do ordinary things, and is scared easily. His father usually tends to tell him things simply to freak him out; sometimes, he even turns to shutting himself inside to avoid the "dangers" his dad warns him about. He's always seen with a cup of coffee or a highly caffeinated energy drink, and is always twitching.
₪ Gives You Hell: Tweek Tweak has lived the last eighteen years with his mother and father, Cindy and Richard Tweak, spending most of his time at school and hanging around Craig for the most part. He'd started feeling something strange for the other in middle school, and has always kept it a secret due to the fact that South Park is a very.. rather religious place, and most of the people there didn't take homosexuality lightly. He had always known he wasn't like all the other guys, since he didn't think girls were all that great; in fact, he found them stressful and annoying.

At the beggining of highschool, he'd let it slip that he may have liked Craig, to Cartman, and of course, the whole thing got out and made a huge ruckus, causing his biggest shut-in case in his history; he'd shut himself in his room for two whole weeks with an endless supply of coffee, his father there to heighten his worry the whole time. Only when he needed to leave his room to go to the emergency room, having fallen ill with food poisoning, did he do so, and since then, he went back to his normal routine of going to school every day, though he did avoid everyone and anyone for a long time, especially Craig. He still worries about it to this day; he thinks that Craig cannot possibly appreciate the fact that Tweak liked him, and believes that Craig must think of him as something disgusting.

Besides that, he's now taking the responsibility of running the coffee shop, and has even turned the taste of the coffee into something pleasant; so much different than the sludge that it was compared to in the past.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Richard Tweak is his father and Cindy Tweak is his mother.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: He has a very big crush on Craig, but tends to like Damien a little, though that crush is strictly lust. Tweek thinks Craig as his secret soulmate, even.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Uke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Chop Suey/Wakeup by System of a Down and Dreaming by System of a Down
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: ` Coco Cider
₪ Story Of My Life: Black and darkgreen for dialog.

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Clyde
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Eighteen
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: November Third
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'9" ish
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Most kids our ages have scars...I got a few from foot ball but other than that no piercings, no tattoos. Not really my thing, you know?

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Clyde appears to be one of the more “emotional” boys in South Park, often looked upon as a cry baby. Though he often denies this if it pops up into a conversation; later contradicting himself if someone says something offensive. It usually only takes little things to spark up Clyde’s over active tear ducts. But apart from that, he’s also one of the nicer boys. Though he is often over looked by a lot of people, Clyde has been there on more than one occasion helping someone out. Take for example in grade four, when everyone got lice, including himself, and the boys were threatening to give Kenny a sock bath, even going as far as to do it. Clyde had tried his hardest to stall them until the teacher got there, successfully letting it be known that Kenny wasn’t the only one. Of course, no one knows that it was Clyde who technically ratted on them but that’s not the fact of the matter.

He knows what to say and when to say it and isn’t afraid to let his soft side show. Claiming it gets him more chicks, when really it just makes him look like a pussy. When you dig to the bottom of his emotional nature, it could very well have to do with the fact that he’s a bit of a momma’s boy and has been since he learned how to talk. Maybe even worse than Cartman on the subject. Another thing most kids…hell everyone, in South Park know about Clyde is that he really isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Having never been good at school, Clyde relies on Token more often than not when it comes to homework and studying. Even going as far as to get tutored by said best friend. A lot of the kids pick on him for being a dumb jock, as do the teachers, and even a few select adults who aren’t on the whole “be nice to your youngers and they’ll respect their elders” band wagon. So despite his efforts to jack up his marks, they always fall a little short.

Last but not least, Clyde is a pervert. Maybe not to the extent of Kenny, but he does tend to have one thing prominently on his mind. Now the average male brain thinks about sex, say, every three to five seconds. But Clyde as we can plainly see; is no average male. There’s hardly any room for anything in his brain other than sex, football, friends and food. This might be the cause for his lack of ability to do anything in school. The majority of the conversations he starts up have something to do with a girl, and on the very rare occasion, a boy with a nice ass.
₪ Gives You Hell: The first few chapters of Clyde’s life aren’t really worth noting. He was born to Martha and John Donovan on August twelfth at Hells Pass Hospital, just like most other kids in South Park. Unlike a lot of the other kids in South Park who seem to experience strange things on a regular occurrence, Clyde has had a pretty quite life apart from the odd upstart. But unlike the other boys, he has moved once. Moved houses that is, when he did move, Michael Jefferson bought his old house. How quaint. He is an only child and as far as he’s aware, always will be. This fact has never bothered him much though; Clyde was never the kind of kid who always wanted a little brother or sister to bug. He’s seen how things work with younger siblings; you think it’ll all be fine and dandy until they take over your god damn life!

His closest friends are Craig and Token, always being mashed in with them since the beginning. It’s always been “Craig and those guys”. Even though it’s typically been known as Craig’s gang, there are times when Clyde has stepped up to the plate showing his own leadership skills which aren’t the greatest, but are good enough to get them through the day. Although he’s fairly good friends with Craig, him and Token are still just that bit closer. Having been best friends since Kindergarten, Clyde will always rely on Token more than anyone else. Hell he trusts him more than he trusts his own mother, and that is saying something.

Clyde's life really started to spice up somewhere between middle and high school. He had always been one for sports, brawn over brain, think with your feet not with your head, so deciding to try out for the football team at the high school seemed like a perfectly logical idea. And it was. He got on the team--not that he wouldn't have. Like Stan, Clyde had a whole arsenal of sports up his sleeve. Though the brunette was never the top player, he was always fairly good. He's had a few girlfriends and all that since he's got into high school too, but that's hardly important.

Not exactly what some people might call exciting, but it's worked well for him so far.

₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: John (father) Martha (mother) and Rex (his dog)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Awwe jeez, I don't know all the girls...or most of them at least, in our class are pretty hot but, I do have a soft spot for my best friend. You know..Token Black? There's a few other people but..I'd rather keep what little reputation I have.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid:Seke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: socks-not-sandals
₪ Story Of My Life: Crimson

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Red. Just Red.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Seventeen
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: October 17th
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'9”; 173 cm
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Tattoos: Scarification of an inverted cross over the left pectoral, inverted pentagram upon the wrist (cliched as it is). Piercings: Both nipples, tongue, right eyebrow, labret. Scars: razor marks over the wrists and legs, naturally.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Key traits: Antisocial, apathetic, hedonistic, gloomy, lazy, debauched, vexatious, base, snide, harsh, jealous. Red strives to be a loner and tends to only associate with his fellow non-conformists. He's snide and rude and tends to put down the ideas (or anything) that comes from the mind or mouth of a conformist. He's never very keen on voicing his own opinions and puts off as being apathetic. He's very self-serving and doesn't care much for secular things. His selfishness is further illustrated through his hedonistic and debauched tendencies. In other words, he won't turn down a nice smoke, drink or fuck. Whenever he sets his sights on someone (and that is not often, mind you) he tends to get jealous and possessive. His traits scream “abusive relationship”.

₪ Gives You Hell: "Tch, why the fuck are you even bothering to learn about my miserable past? Whatever, I guess I don't have anything better to do. I live with my conformist mother and sister... using both terms VERY loosely. I can't stand either of them. I'd rather spend a night raped in a gutter than come home to either of them. I'll neither confirm nor deny that claim. It's enough to know where I am now but I suppose you want to know how I got there? Really? Tch, conformists. You're such a pain in my ass.

Once, I was an only child with a mother and father. I remember all of this up until when I was four years old. Yeah, too fuckin' good to be true. Happiness, contentment, tch. Whatever. I don't have time for such conformist, trivial feelings. My fuckin' mother ruined this happiness by sleeping with some guy. My father left without a word. Guess where my "sister" came from? I learned to hate them both, just as much as I hate conformists. They both came pretty naturally. I fell into the nonconformist clique and realized just how much cooler I was. Can I stop going on about my life? Backstories are so conformist.

So, that isn't enough? Whatever. I'll continue, freak. I fell into some bad habits and I regret nothing. I smoke, I drink, I cut, I fuck and I know where to get the best cocaine and how to do a line just right and I don't care who knows it. I took up some side jobs to feed my habits, some of which were my habits. Dealing drugs and making some scratch downtown. Flesh is so cheap, anyway. I don't plan on living past twenty.

Where did I find time for a school social life outside of all this shit? Right. So, one day I was just smoking on the loading dock. Same as every other day or so. Stan approached me to go to some stupid-ass conformist party. He promised that there would be a keg, drugs and cheap, drunk sex. I was down. I wake up with marker on my chest, vomit on the corner of my mouth and a town without chicks. I only regret that Henrietta isn't around anymore to bum cigarettes from. Tch."

₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Mother, younger sister.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo:Tch... who needs that Ken and Barbie love? Hn, but I guess that redhead asshole Stan hangs around is kind of cute... or someone who I could bum a cigarette off of. Tch. Whatever.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid:Seme

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Love in a Void by Siouxsie & the Banshees
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: PETA Hates Schrodinger
₪ Story Of My Life:Dark Red and Black

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Just Thomas is fine..but if you want to call me Tom I'm good with that.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Eighteen
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!:August Fourteenth
₪ Better You Than Me:About 5'7"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa:N-none of the above.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: To put Thomas’ personality in an easy to understand way, he’s what some would like to call fairly skittish. He seems to be constantly high strung and on the edge and stress is a part of his every day life. As can be seen from the dark circles that crease his eyes, he doesn’t sleep often due to the amounts of stress in his life. Because of this, it effects how he interacts with the environment and the people around him. Because of his condition-being Tourettes—Thomas doesn’t feel comfortable going into public places. Because he knows he will only make a fool out of himself, and the people around him. Thomas’ mother is constantly trying to integrate him into society, often forcing him outside where he tries his hardest to be by himself or around people he knows understand him.

Some people may mistake Thomas for being depressed, but really it’s just his anxiety taking over. At certain times he may ramble about how everyone would be better off if he was dead. This usually occurs after a break down, or during one of those times where someone’s dumb enough to make fun of tourettes and makes him go on a spiel about his life story.
₪ Gives You Hell: Speaking of life stories, Thomas has a somewhat interesting past. But like every good story, it must be told from the beginning. Thomas was born like any normal child. At a hospital, surrounded by people who would soon love him and welcome him into their world with open arms. He grew up just like any other boy, until he learned to talk. Thomas was born with a neurological disease called tourettes. It’s an illness that can be described as something like a nervous tic, or a sneeze. Something that can’t be controlled. Tourettes comes in all shapes and sizes, all kinds can be seen throughout society yet most aren’t very noticeable. But for this young boy, he just so happened to have one that controlled the way he talked. It was nothing like a speech impediment. Oh Christ no. The more common form of the illness is one that makes the talker uncontrollably shout or say swears in the middle of sentences, or even out right. There’s nothing they can do about it and it tends to cause embarrassment for more than the person with it.

Thomas’ tourettes got so bad that when he was five, his father divorced his mother, leaving her alone to raise their ‘dysfunctional’ child. The only time he ever got to see his dad was during Christmas, and even then his father hardly ever showed up as he got older. After this happened, even though he was still very young, Thomas started going to therapist sessions with other kids like him. Making friends among the group of children as his mother tried to desperately to overlook his condition and force him to be a part of society. It wasn’t until he was nine that he made ‘real’ friends. After a run in with Eric Cartman in a toy store, making a fool out of himself yet again, and almost getting his illness degraded on national television by said fat bastard, Thomas joined forces with Kyle in an attempt to stop him from doing so. Only to meet, and make friends with Craig.

After that fay, life as he knew it got flipped upside down and turned around. At first, he didn’t know what to think. Some guy coming around, offering to do his laundry just because he can swear whenever he wanted to and not get in trouble? He figured that maybe he was just another ass hole trying to ‘catch’ the tourettes. But as time went by it soon became evident that Craig wasn’t that kind of person. He didn’t need tourettes to swear at people. Sure he got in trouble but…the fact that he didn’t seem to care at all made Thomas almost idolize him in a way. It didn’t take long for him to agree to go into public schooling despite the chaos that would surely be unraveled and soon enough he was welcomed into Craig’s gang. Noticing that he and Tweek were kind of similar personality wise which he also thought was slightly strange but never made a comment on. He also managed to make fairly good friends with Jimmy. But liked to hang out with Craig and Tweek more so than anyone else. Feeling like he belonged there.

Things have been smooth sailing since then. Apart from his out bursts which still upset him from time to time.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Just mom..
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo:Oh god...lets see. I'm not really sure about this I mean--I guess after a few years of hanging out with him I've become more attracted to Craig and stuff..But I'm not going around saying I'm a homo or anything. That's the last thing I need. There's a lot of good looking people around town and...god I really don't know. This is a hard question!
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid:Uke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Explosions In The Sky - So Long, Lonesome
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: socks-not-sandals
₪ Story Of My Life: Lime Green

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Pip
₪ History Shows Again And Again: 18
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: January 23rd
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'7"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Oh, never! Though I do have a few body scars from being set on fire a few times...

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: I'm an all-around gentleman! I try to be as nice as I can, all of the time. I take in the mean things and turn them into good. I am a true optimist and have little to no hatred for anyone but Cristophe. No one likes a french person! Bleh. I get along best with Butters and Damien, close friends of mine, though Damien has been my best friend since he moved here all those years ago!
₪ Gives You Hell: I was born in bright olde England! My parents died when I was young and I was raised by a blacksmith and his wife, a lovely couple that I adored for the longest of times. I fell in love with a girl as a tot and she ended up breaking my heart in the end despite my desperate hard work to impress her by turning into a gentleman. We worked things out for a short while but then in our decided migration to America for a better life she died on the boat on the trip over from some kind of loosey plague.

Abandoned and lonesome I took up residence in a small American town with a man and a woman likewise of british heritage who took me in for a short time. It was nice, but after a while I decided that I should break away from them to make something of myself.

I live now in a bachelor apartment working part time in an Antique store and selling art and metal furniture that I create from my blacksmith experience on the side. I am finishing my last year of highschool and am excitedly awaiting an acceptance to a trades University out of town! Or so I hope! How exciting!
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Phillip Pirrup Sr (birth father, deceased), Georgina Pirrup (birth mother, deceased)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Oh. I couldn't like anyone! That would be silly. Although I am dating Sally Turner! She's such a nice girl.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Uke, though it would really depend.

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Lily Allen - LDN
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: TheTweek
₪ Story Of My Life: Lightsalmon

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: There is no way the Son of Satan would let anyone lower than himself give him petty nicknames.
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Give me a break, I'm the Son of Satan. Just consider me eighteen.
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: Did you not hear me the first time? Do I need to light you on fire? Maybe send you to the seventh layer of Hell yourself and see how you like it there, hm?
₪ Better You Than Me: 5'9"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Demon wings on the back, on either shoulderblade, and corset piercings on either side and down his spine. He has a septum ( bull ring ) piercing, and snakebites on his lower lip.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Well, well, if this interrogation must continue, I guess if it's about me, then it's fine. I'm evil. The Son of Satan has to be, after all, therefore I enjoy to see people in pain and agony. But in all actuality.. I kind of like feeling it too. I'm arrogant, sure. I'm positive I've displayed that much in previous statements, as well as my short temper and impatience. I think of everyone as my father's minions, and therefore, they are mine as well. I am a higher being than human, though I suppose that Kenny thing may be of equal status, seeing as how he's been to my house a few times in Hell, yet he still manages to find his way back home. I don't like girls. They annoy the crap out of me, with their 'problems' and annoying, squeaky voices. I'm sure that may tip you off on a few things pertaining to the.. storyline, I guess. I'm fairly anti-social, I am very frank, and I despise everything and anything..

But I like to be liked. No matter how evil I am or may seem... it's my father that makes me do the things I do. Otherwise, I have to answer to him. And answering to Satan.. well, I'll tell you it isn't fun. Especially when the punishment I receive even seems harsh for the seventh layer of Hell; the level associated with brutality, suicide and blasphemy. I'm sure Red would get a kick out of that, hm?
₪ Gives You Hell: I have no idea when I was born, nor when my birthday is or whom my mother may be. I am the Son of Satan, I'm sure you know that by now, and he does not bother with telling me any information about my early years. I've been around for a while, and came to the surface of the human world when I was.. "eight", I guess you could say. The only reason I have aged at all is due to the fact that I've been up here, since time doesn't necessarily exist in a place like Hell.

While in the human world, I tried to make friends, sure. Cartman is an asshole, that much I know. I don't quite like his friends, either. But, I do admit, it must have been a bit hard to like the Son of Satan, while I was blowing everything up and threatening people. In all honestly, if I hadn't done what I had done, I was sure to be dragged back to Hell for a good eternity to be punished by my father, and that's quite a bother when that happens, so I simply took the lazy way out and did his bidding. Was an interesting series of events, I'll say. Crashing Eric Cartman's party was.. well, enticing. Even though it was Kevin who did it. I still like to think it was me.

Making 'friends' with Pip was rather pleasant. He's a good sport about things, especially after I turned him into a flying piñata at Cartman's party in grade school. And various other things in the past. He's one of the few people I can stand here.

But I will have my fun. Oh, believe me, I will have my fun.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Satan is my father. I'm sure I have about a billion brothers and sisters, but who knows?
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Pip's the only one of these idiot humans that I could even possibly consider... likeable. But I guess that Red guy's a bit my type. Who cares, anyway? I'm the Son of Satan.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: Seke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Devilicious by Angelspit and the lyrics. Makes me into a slut, doesn't it?
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: ` Coco Cider
₪ Story Of My Life: Black and maroon for dialog.

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Greg, Dair (Although Christophe is the only one permitted to call me that)
₪ History Shows Again And Again: 17
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!:November Thirtieth
₪ Better You Than Me:175.3 cm
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Please. As if I would malign a perfect body with any sort of markings. I hardly have scars! Such disgusting drivel.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Is there anything to say here? I saved the entire human race in the American-Canadian wars. I am essentially a perfect human being. I'm clever, witty, and intelligent; not only do I have a perfect grade point average, but my leadership skills are far above the normal, and I have a handling of weapons unrivaled by anyone except for Christophe. People may say I'm arrogant but they don't know what they're talking about. I'm simply confident in who I am.
₪ Gives You Hell: I was born and raised in London, England, although my parents felt the need to move to this less than savory mountain town when I was eight. I transferred to South Park Elementary, where I was immediately adored by the girls and hated by the boys. The only person I ever truly trusted was Christophe, a childhood friend I had worked with before the American-Canadian war and the attempted execution of Terrance and Philip. I led La Resistance, a separatist movement that helped to organize the escape of the two Canadians from the USO show... although that was unfortunately botched by the rather inept American boys, leading to less than favorable events afterwards.

Since then I have been hanging in the background, causing no trouble and merely doing what I need to in order to succeed. I continue to keep up a relationship with Christophe, although whether we are merely friends or perhaps something a bit more sometimes confuses me. I don't know what we are, but he is my dearest friend and worst enemy all wrapped into one. A convenience and an annoyance all the same.

I suppose I'm going back to England once my time is South Park is done, and that's all right. I have faded into the background despite being the only thing of value around here. I'm a fan of being the center of attention... although with all the females gone, that attention may very well be drawn back to me.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: I have a mother and a father, of course, but I am living on my own at the moment. My siblings are of no consequence.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Christophe, most assuredly. Although that Clyde Donovan boy, though a crybaby, seems to have some redeeming qualities.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid:Seke

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Les Miserables - Red And Black
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: Sociopath_Zombie_Incest
₪ Story Of My Life:Rosy Brown

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Christophe, Chris, The Mole
₪ History Shows Again And Again: 17
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: December 25th
₪ Better You Than Me: Approximately 172 cm [around 5'8"]
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Too many scars with too many foul memories to count, and a few tattoos; Viva La Resistance across the lower back, a memorial of my parents on my left arm (despite mother still being alive), a crossroad of a pick-axe and a shovel between the shoulder blades, and the discreet initials of "G.A.Y." across the outside of right thigh.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Hard-headed and loyal, always one for what justice I can bring about in this world. You learn to trust no one and yet you trust everyone. There is a foulness in every soul implanted there by some higher power for a painful self amuse. We live, we love, we die, but for no solace or self accomplishment! I know this better than anyone and I live on pure instinct and survival, with only one man known to soften me enough to remind me what I am fighting for, and that is Gregory Yardale.
₪ Gives You Hell: What do I look like to you? An after school special? I lived a life of hardships from day one! From day negative one hundred and thirty if you count my mother's attempt at a home abortion when I still resided within her as nothing but a mere parasite. I tasted my first breath of air on Christmas day in a run-down hospital in the poorer part of France. Despite my cost on my mother's life, her conscience got the better of her and she has kept and cared for me to this day.

The military life began young. I was sent to school at a young age to concentrate myself on learning to become something of a well-crafted man with little chance of petty childhood fantasies. My father was a veteran and was constantly being enlisted throughout Europe with little time for his family, but when he was home he was a quiet man with little to say but a lot of heart. I admired him for his sacrifices and understood his motives from when I was small. He had lost his father to the second world war and had taken up his reputation with nothing but honour. One day, I hoped to be so dedicated.

He was killed when I was seven and mother went into a depression. My long-time partner and comrade from various practical missions from school and occasional tours of England for these purposes. His name was Gregory, and we were coincidentally deported to the Americas by our parents around the same time and were re-acquainted in a small mountain town in Colorado, where another handful of acquaintances were obtained by the both of us in a dedicated mission of La Resistance for the better cause. Gregory was one worth befriending and I knew this immediately at the time we first met as children; still we are in touch. Aside from Mama, he is the most important thing to me. He infuriates me, but he entices me. And I am alright with that. My mother and I bounce from America and France frequently by means of family calls and other businesslike missions.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Jean-Claude DeLorn (father, deceased), Genevieve DeLorn (mother)
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Gregory has a permanent residence in my heart, though once upon a time I had an eye for the Jew boy. His friend Kenny had my respect for his sacrifice back in the day.
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: What is this bullfuckery nonsense? Who are you to label such things?!

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Queens of the Stone Age - Go With The Flow AND AFI - Spoken Word
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: TheTweek
₪ Story Of My Life: Sienna

I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
₪ They Call Me Superman, I'm Here To Rescue You: Just Ike! Call me Ike!
₪ History Shows Again And Again: Twelve
₪ Let's Build A Snowman!: Dec 17
₪ Better You Than Me: 4'11"
₪ Don't Shoot Me, Santa: Pretty clean-slated for scar tissue so far.

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!
₪ Keep The Car Running: Smart-assed, intelligent and a child prodigy in a lot of different aspects, is usually what people call me! I may be little and foreign but don't take my size for granted. I'm well-educated and have had a better grasp on the universe since I was three, and probably a better one than most adults. I think causing trouble is what I'm best at. I do lots of crazy lab experiments in my spare time and have set Kyle on fire more than once by accident but he's still probably my best friend. All the other grade schoolers are so stupid, which is why I'm in high school now. I need more of a challenge.
₪ Gives You Hell: Well, my parents had to give me up when I was a toddler because of the Cola War in Canada, so I was adopted into the Broflovski home. It was somewhat of a surprise to my new family how smart I was - yeah I guess you could call me a bit conceited, but I know I'm a genius. Everyone says it so why shouldn't I agree? I can do calculus equations that would make a normal twelve year old kill themselves. Anyway, I did my full gradeschool career and finished three years early. So now, I'm in highschool.

I spend most of my time on the computer, but occasionally I'll go out with Kyle and his friends. Back in the day Kyle used to hate it when I was around -- okay, so maybe once in a while he still does, but at least he takes me places on his own now instead of just because mom made him. I tend to be the pawn in most master plans but I happily oblige; I love a challenge and to put things to use, so I do shit willingly.

Over the years I may or may not have developed some oddities. For one, pain doesn't bother me at all; most kids would shriek like banshees getting kicked around but it just makes me laugh. It's not that I don't feel it, I just like it. Sometimes I piss Kyle off just so he beats me around a bit. But a kick to the shins and he lays off usually.
₪ Somebody Kill Me Please: Harry and Elise Gints are my birth parents, however my adoptive parents are Sheila and Gerald Broflovski. I also have a big adopted brother, Kyle.
₪ After Five Rounds With Jose Cuervo: Well, uh... I haven't been looking too hard. But there was this one time...
₪ You're Gonna Go Far Kid: AGH! I don't know!

So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!
₪ You'd Think People Would've Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs: Touhou - Cirno's Perfect Math Class
₪ I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby: TheTweek
₪ Story Of My Life: Medium Turquoise